Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Male Anatamy and Other Strange Things

Even though I had four nieces and nephews before my own kids came along, I've never been the best diaper-changer. However, since Em didn't come out potty-trained, I had to step up my game. After two years of intense training, I can say I've mastered the art of changing diapers.

Changing a girl's diaper at least.

Changing a boy's diaper is a whole new ball game in which I am quite an amateur. It's not just wiping and throwing on a diaper anymore. Oh no, this requires strategy. There's time constraints as well. If I don't get in, get out there's going to be trouble. We're talking pee pee all over- clothes, carpets, corneas. There isn't an object (or person) within three feet of my boy that hasn't been christened. You would think I would learn after the first...second...twelfth time, but no. Yesterday he did it three times in ONE change! It felt like a cheap attempt for a laugh in a Will Ferrell movie. Which makes me think that my son is going to be an awesomely funny little dude. But anyways, first shot got him square in the face, poor little guy. As I was cleaning up that mess, his range improved and he shot clear over his shoulder... and left me with a nice little poo as an extra gift. Thanks, Jax. As Matt and I were scrambling to take care of that disgustingness, he continued his shooting spree. Uuuuggg...three diapers and one soaking onesie later, he was in the bath. However, he learned his first lesson in karma today. As we were walking from our car to the park a flock of birds passed overhead. Poor little Jax got pooped on. Ahahaha. Ok, I'm not really a horrible mother laughing at my 3.5 week old getting pooed on. It was disgusting, but thankfully it only landed on his leg. But maybe next time he'll think twice before pottying all over his parents. :)

1 comment:

Anna said...

Hilarious! I love reading your blog - you crack me up. Sounds like a wild ride over there starting out the two-kid phase of life! Boy diaper changes do get easier... I got peed on lots in the beginning but now it's been months and months since it happened. Getting pooped on is another story - that still seems to happen all the time. =)