Thursday, August 9, 2012

Because It Matters

I want life to slow down. Even though the FL summer holds on until October and the rush of school won't come for another year, I'm not ready for the changes that come with fall. It's ironic because I always advocate for change, but when it's right around the corner I get cold feet.

Change itself isn't the fear; it's the doubt that it will have any impact. It's the berating whisper that what we do doesn't matter. For instance, do I really want to put all that work into finishing my Master's? I wonder about the impact that it will have on our lives in the future. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be in a classroom again. 

It's the voice of why bother. 

All I know is that sitting barefoot in a warm room in Cambodia, surrounded by shelves of anti-trafficking resources, awakened a part of me that refuses to slumber again, even in the face of Educational Statistics. Looking back at all the small decisions and big leaps that have made up the tapestry of my life, nothing has been wasted. All is finding it's purpose. I suppose that's the beauty of being the workmanship of God. 

When doubt sings the siren's call of comfort, refuse to listen, even though continuing on as always would be so much easier. Why bother pursuing friendship with someone that's different; it's too awkward. Why put yourself in an environment where you feel completely out of place? Other people will step in. Such lies will only bring the bitterness of regret that rot the soul. What we do matters; we were created for impact. 

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

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