Starbuck's and Sympathy Smiles

Does anyone else think in Facebook statuses? For instance, today Jenna and I came home to someone playing clarinet in the living room. Since nine times out of ten there are no clarinet players in the living room I immediately thought, "Kelly is finding it curious that there's a girl playing clarinet in the living room." This is generally what my day looks like. "Kelly is wishing her lender realized that she isn't an idiot." "Kelly is wishing she didn't answer 'yes' when the lady in Starbuck's asked if she could touch her child."

About that.

Yesterday I talked about how babies soften people. After having Emma I took notice of the kindness of strangers. Even as I neared the last months of pregnancy, I found that people were generally nicer. Another added benefit was not getting cat-called at anymore either. You don't often here a man yell, "Ooooo like at the fine big belly. I wanna get me summa that." Not that I was always getting hit on before, but come on ladies, you know what I mean.

Anywho, now that people want to talk to me (ok Emma) every where I go, I have to step up my friendliness quota a few notches. Looking down while walking is no longer acceptable. I have a baby. People want a smile. Other moms expect the sympathy smile and old people expect the beaming-with-pride smile. Also, I have to be ready to drop what I'm doing to engage in conversation. The bases that must be covered include but are not limited to: Emma's name, age, amount of teeth, and if she's a good sleeper. I also have to be prepared for people to touch my child, which they often do. Today I was clearly caught off guard because they usually don't ask. I said "no" in my head but "sure" came out of my mouth. Shoot.

Now, about those cat-calls that used to bother me so much. Yeah, not so much anymore. I remember the first time a group of guys did it to me after having Emma. It was in the grocery store parking lot and I rushed home excitedly to tell Matt. It was like a 10 lb. baby weight lift.

I think this first year with my first child is like a honeymoon period though. I see these women out and about with three or four kids, and they just don't seem to have the same flocks of people migrating to talk to them. Instead, I feel like people go the other way and avoid eye contact at all cost. Something to remember next time I pass by a frazzled mom with screaming kids. That'll be me one day. I better offer my momma-sympathy smile now...

The Simple Things

I remember when I was a little girl I would always accompany my mom on shopping trips. It really didn't matter whether she was going to the mall or just going to Wegman's. Then when Livvie entered the picture, she would often come shopping with me. I love that about girls. Noah usually wasn't interested unless we were going some place fun, but Liv always wants to come along for the ride.

Even though Emma is only nine months old (today!) I feel like I'm already experiencing that with her. She loves sitting in a shopping cart and looking at all the people as they pass. She never fails to capture their attention with her big cheesy grin, or if that doesn't work- she yells in her indistinguishable language. I'm pretty sure that she's convinced that the world revolves around her; I know that's not healthy for older children, but I'm not looking forward to the day when she learns that the world can be a cruel place. Right now I'm more than happy for her to believe that everyone is patient, kind, and good-willed. It's funny, there's just something about a baby that softens people. Today I was in line at Walmart and this lady kept yelling at her daughter, but in the next breath would turn around and talk sweetly to Emma. Or maybe it's not babies but just that my daughter is so darn cute??

I took a bunch of pictures of her tonight. She's so funny; when she does something silly that I laugh at she starts laughing too and does it again. She's a smart one! However her mommy is not. I went to load the pictures...and there was no memory card in the camera. I would have known that if I had not dropped and broken this camera (as with our nice camera) so it doesn't show pictures on the screen. Here's one from a few weeks ago of her though, looking absolutely disgusted. This is what she usually looks like after dinner- not so much the expression- but the mess.

Coming Out (of my Mary closet)

I started attending this moms’ Bible study at church this week. It’s a great chance to spend time with some other adults and be able to have conversation while not having to chase around a child between sentences. We’re reading the book, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, and we started our time together with the obvious question, “Who feels like Martha?” Hands shot up all around me, and women nodded their heads fervently.

Hmm.

My hand stayed uncomfortably at my side and my mouth stayed shut.

The women also voiced their annoyance at the Mary’s of the world.

Shoot, don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact…you don’t want to have to lie in a bible study…

See, there’s nothing in me that screams Martha, and frankly, I wouldn’t peg most of my friends as Martha’s either. I sat there trying to figure out why this was. I have friends that certainly have the Martha personality but not the Martha complex. Somewhere in the course of the discussion I think I figured out what the difference is. While looking at the church, there’s such a difference between women that have been raised in the modern era and those that are products of the postmodern era. I guess I would classify my generation as all those within five or six years of my twenty-seven years. Here’s what I mean: the women of the previous generation were raised in a very performance oriented environment. Modernity praised efficiency. Proverbs 31 praises efficiency. The women of that generation REALLY took that to heart, and as one woman confessed yesterday, “It’s a pride thing.” Women want to appear to have it all together. As much as women may want a Mary heart, many quite openly thought Martha was in the right and were annoyed by Mary.

Now take my generation. We’ve given up on the idea of being the perfect wife and the perfect mother. We’d rather just be human. In fact, those perfect women annoy us. It’s great that you can make your homemade apple pie while juggling your laundry and driving three kids to various places- all with a smile on your face, but come on, get real. We don’t want you to make us a five course meal if it’s going to stress you out; order a pizza and throw in some no-bakes and we’re perfectly happy. We don’t want you rushing around serving us- that just makes us nervous. We want you sitting and talking with us. We were bred as relational to the core, and if you’re not going to be real with us, we don’t really want to be around you. Of course, my generation has our own set of issues, but this just isn’t one of them. I just finished reading chapter two though- now THAT I can relate to- and I seriously do look forward to getting to know all these crazy Martha's too. I mean, it's only been one week and I already have a recipe to make my own laundry detergent that does 900 loads! Maybe I will become SuperMommaWife...

Playing Catchup

I have a lot of catching up to do. I stopped blogging when I went up to NY, and said that I would continue when I returned. Then I returned and said I would continue after we got into our house. Emma might be five by the time that happens though. Our closing keeps getting pushed back, and I feel like my life has been on hold for the last three months. Every plan I have or goal to accomplish revolves around the closing of our house. We'll get another car when we get in the house. I'll start dieting and exercising when we get in the house. I'm not sure what I think the magic fix will be for being in the house, but I just feel stalled until we close. Some things truly are beyond my control right now, but there are plenty of things that I can do before we get in. So, here's my first baby step to change. Yes, as silly as it sounds, blogging is something that I feel like I need to do; it not only preserves memories, serves as an outlet, but it also helps me thinks through things in a way that I would not otherwise. That's part of my problem now too, my mind feels stagnant, which is one of the worst feelings. I used to share this quote with my students when they would journal that said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I go crazy when I don't take the time to reflect. I don't know what it is, but I've always been that way. I love being around people,but I need my space as well or I literally stop functioning correctly. Weird as that may sound. Anyways- enough about me.

Here's what Emma's been up to these last few months:

She experienced her first snow fall up in NY at Grandma and Grandpa's

Caught up with her cousins (she could hardly roll over last time she saw them).

Spent time with her aunts and uncles on both sides.

Grew five teeth (of which you can't see in this picture- I downloaded the wrong one- oops)


Celebrated her first Christmas

Made some girl friends.


and hung out with her daddy.

She is growing and changing so much every day. She's just starting to let go of things when she stands up now and takes a few steps along the couch. Once she started crawling she was so quick, but she's much more hesitant about walking. Who wants to walk on those wobbly legs when she's such a bullet on her hands and knees. :) She's such a funny, sweet girl with this weird little smile where she snorts and shows off all her teeth. We're pretty sure she's going to be an extravert; she screams through the grocery store, smiling at people, waiting for them to tell her how cute she is. She had such a hard time her first couple months but is just so fun and easygoing now! So much happens in such a short time with a baby- I'm disappointed that I've missed talking about these last few months when so much has happened in her little life. But, my time is up- she's waking up!

Childless in Chicago

I know I haven't updated in a looong time, and since Matt's in meetings and Emma's not with us, this should be the perfect time to update. Except I left my laptop plug at my parents' house and have no battery, so therefore this will be a quickie since I'm in the hotel lobby. I just figured some mommies would probably think this was pretty funny...

We left Emma for the first time with Matt's mom for a few days to go to Chicago. The trip was Matt's Christmas present to me, but I assumed that Emma would be coming with us. Then Matt told me that we were going to see Wicked, which of course, I was thrilled about since I've wanted to see it forever, but kind of queazy about since Emma is a little too young to appreciate musical theater. I guess that meant she wasn't joining us, much to Matt's excitement (a romantic getaway woohoo!) and my chagrin (3 DAYS away from my baby??). Matt finally convinced me that it would be fine to leave her behind, and we've been having a GREAT, much needed time together. I thought I was handling being away from her pretty well until last night at about 1:00 I woke up and started running around the room yelling, "Where's Emma!?! Where's Emma!?!" and frantically searching for her. Poor Matt was baffled (if you've ever experienced Matt waking in the middle of the night you know the look) and frantically looking at me saying, "Ah ahh, I don't know, I don't know." Finally, I remebered that she was home with Matt's mom, explained this to Matt who just looked at me and immediately fell back down asleep. Phew, crisis averted.

I mean, I'm not the only mommy that's ever done this...right!?

Wisdom Crashes the Party

So, looking for a house these past few weeks has really opened up my eyes to this whole mortage crisis. We went house hunting with an agent a couple weeks ago and 13 of the 14 houses we looked at were vacant. Pretty crazy. However, sitting in a mortage broker's office I can see why. We were approved for $20,000 over our budget. Kind of a lot of money.

We were pretty excited about finding a house. We found a couple that were really nice and that we could afford; I mean, they were within our $20,000 less than what the bank said we could afford. So, we made an offer. We had discussed with our realtor what would probably happen. We low-balled them, expecting a counter-offer. I was super excited; Matt was super queazy. The scenario played out as we expected, except the part where we counter-offered their counter-offer didn't go as planned. There was no counter-(counter?) offer from us.

Matt crunched the numbers again in our budget. Pretty much a chunk of our down payment was going to have to go to the ridiculously high (in a newbie's eyes anyway) closing costs and interest rates had just gone up. Basically, if we were to purchase this house for our original budget price, we'd be house poor.

Crap.

I was not a happy girl (for various reasons which I need not get into :) ) and when all was said and done, our $20,000 under approved budget had dropped down to $45,000 less than what we were approved for. Thankfully, my husband is wiser than me (ok, I said it, let's not rub it in) when it comes to finances and chose to exam things further to keep us out of an ugly situation, but I can see how easy it can happen. There's so many other factors besides income and debt. When people lose sight of that and just see what they want, they find themselves in a pretty precarious situation.

So. we press on and keep searching. Though we just may have something in the works, partly due to a little help from Uncle Sam (funny how Republicans don't mind a little help from the government when it's in their best interest...ahem, ahem Matthew...) I'm not ready to get too excited yet though. I've already learned that lesson.

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

I haven't posted any pics of Em in a while so here they are!
She loved swinging at the park today with her new friends!

Ok- so I just think Daddy looks hot here.

Why do men feel the need to do this with their babies?

"Seriously Dad? You're posing me with all these pumpkins? So lame."

Emme and Mommy- I love pumpkin patches in sleeveless dresses. :)

The Beautiful Burden continued...

I wasn't planning on writing more on this, but this video was just brought to my attention...

This is why I just can't justify abortion as a woman's choice.  Be warned, the video is quite disturbing, in the same way visiting the Holocaust museum is.  As I watched it that word, holocaust, kept going through my mind.

I was obviously intentional in my word choice for my previous post title.  Pregnancy is not always a wonderful surprise.  For some it is a burden, but the creation of life is never less than beautiful.  

I hate that this is a political, polarizing issue.  I wish it wasn't an issue that is mostly decided by party lines.  I think it's just an issue of being human.  Unfortunately, I know it's not that simple because I have plenty of intelligent, caring friends that disagree.  It still doesn't make sense to me though, especially in my generation.  My generation is passionate about fighting injustice, working to right wrongs, giving the unheard a voice.  We think outside the box; abortion just seems like such an in-the-box answer.     

The Beautiful Burden of Womanhood

I feel like the abortion conversation has surfaced again, so I've just been thinking...

I think mothers are the strongest creatures on earth (Of course, I say this six months after becoming one myself). While making a baby takes two people, the responsibility of protecting and nourishing that baby falls on the woman. We do a job that no man, literally, could ever do. While women have so many options that those that came before us did not have, nothing comes easy for a woman. It is still a man’s world and breaking through the glass ceiling is still an unlikely task. The fact that our bodies are able to reproduce is one of the obstacles of making it in a man’s world.

This is the beautiful burden of womanhood.

Some face this fact by choice, others by surprise, while others by force. There is a certain power and freedom that men have from never having to face this. As women we have worked so hard for equality and rightly so; equal wages, opportunity, etc. However, the greatest thing that separates us from men is our ability to reproduce. This is also the most beautiful, amazing thing about being a woman.

We give life.

I have trouble understanding the pro-choice perspective because it just seems so ugly. The artistic beauty of a child being knit together inside a woman’s body is so incredible and destroying this seems like the ultimate lack of creativity. I can understand choosing not to raise a child, but I don’t understand choosing not to protect and provide a place for it to grow for nine months. I heard Emma’s heart beat for the first time at SIX weeks. At six months old, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Yes, we have rights. We've worked very, very hard for our rights. But, as women, isn't it the ultimate show of strength to set these rights aside? Doesn't humanity always shine the brightest when we choose to sacrifice? I think most people would agree that it’s best to choose love over hate, optimism over cynicism, giving over taking, creativity over status quo. At times we are asked to set our rights aside for the sake of another, to sacrifice our bodies (and I have the stretch marks to prove it!) which a man would never have to do, but it is the ultimate display of strength and dignity. As women, why would we ever choose less?

The Adventure Begins

Yesterday morning Matt and I said goodbye to Ohio and made our way down to Florida. We finally arrived late this evening. I keep asking Matt if we really just moved to Florida and he keeps assuring me that it's just an extended vacation. I think I believe him because it sure doesn't feel like home yet. Of course, I suppose it probably wouldn't after only 2 hours.

(Our last pics at our ghetto first home. We'll really miss the domestic disputes, blaring bass, and the endless car alarms going off.)

We traveled through the Smoky Mts., which lived up to their name. The drive almost reminded me of the PCH or driving through the redwood groves, minus the huge trees or breathtaking ocean views of course.

While we were driving I was trying to think of ways for us to become professional travelers. While I'm really excited to buy a house, if I had the choice, I'd take a big van to live in and just travel around. Matt doesn't think that would work with his current employment. So, I brainstomed as he read his magazine and gave me an occasional "uh-huh" to humor me. Here's my top 5.

5) We become a reality t.v. show where we travel around the country in our car, with Emma of course. We'd call it "Road-Rearing." You know, raising our child on the road. Very Jack Kerouac.

4) I write for some mommy magazine that gives me money to try out different places and rate whether they are child-friendly or not.

3) Matt becomes an auditor of national parks. Emma and I explore while he's checking out the books.

2) Green Photo. It's a pretty in-depth business plan that includes the best nature photographers from around the world and the marketing geniuses of Matthew and Kelly Green.

1) Truck driver- it may not be a sexy job, but I'm pretty sure I could be a sexy truck driver.

We stopped in Athens to stay with Jay and Rachel. Emma was really excited to hang out with her buddy Sam too.

The rest of the trip was just a very long blur. When the end seemed finally in site, an accident closed 75. I tried to make friends with all my potential neighbors, as we all hung out on the highway.

We planned to catch up with my dad on the highway, but unfortunately didn't catch up with him until the driveway.
The next picture should be of our new home, but wait, we don't have one yet. Shoot. I told Matt if we don't find one soon, I'll have to follow through with my professional traveler plan, and he'll have to start calling me Large Marge.