My How...Times Ten

This Saturday marks my ten year high school reunion. Although I can’t make the 1200 mile trip to attend, it did get me reminiscing about the old days. How in the world have ten years passed since high school? In some ways I feel like it was ages ago, but at the same time it seems impossible that so much time has gone by. I can’t say I remember a whole lot about high school, you know, since I was drunk as a skunk most of the time.

AHAhaHAHA!

Juuuust kidding. I had a pretty clean image in high school. I mean, squeaky clean. I mean, the only party (No, I wasn’t a wallflower- I went to parties- I just mean not THAT kind of party) I ever went to in high school was for about a half hour one night because some guy had made a deal with me that if I went he would come to church with me. Nice. He didn’t even hold up his end of the bargain.

I tried to think of anything from high school- I mean anything that actually took place at CNS- and my memories were pretty vague. This is about all I could come up with…

- Roaming the halls looking for cute senior boys.
- Senior year English didn't have an Honors level. Our teacher asked some girl if she could give an example of a pun. The girl’s response, “Like…the?”
- Accidently throwing a milk at the cute boy table. How does one accidently throw a carton of milk? Good question. Wink, wink.
- Bomb threats…all the time. They would herd us into the gym and auditorium. You know, so all the bodies could be in one place when it exploded.
- The creepy art teacher that always told me I looked pretty and took me aside one day to tell me how he had always wanted to have me in his class. Ew. I heard that he was fired a few years later for “having a picnic” with some female student. Fact or fiction? Who knows.
- Getting a 75 in math my sophomore year and telling my teacher I couldn’t get a C…so she gave me a B. Awesome.
- Getting Mr. F to sign a pass for me every day to skip homeroom, so I could have an hour lunch. - Talking about putting together a “fund” for my homeroom group to go to Darien Lake. We never did do it.
- Spending 3/4 of my day in the art wing senior year.
- Being yelled at by Ms. F in global studies for smiling at Anna across the room on the first day. She wouldn’t have wanted any of that in her classroom.

- Um, the class Tools for Change. Basically, it was the school system’s way of providing group therapy. Most worthless class ever. Oh, and we assigned our own grades. Seriously, they paid someone to teach this class??
- Standing around looking at everyone before graduation thinking, “Weird, this will be the last time I’ll ever see most of these people ever again.” And then there was Facebook.

What a strange time. I thought knew so much, but looking back I really knew nothing about life. Sometimes I wish it were still that way. Not that I know so much now, but there are things I wish I never had to learn about the way the world works. On the other hand, life is so much fuller now, and I would never, ever want to relive being a teenager. It’s nice to be able to look back and smile. I really have few regrets. As I looked through old pictures of faces that were so important in that part of my life, it's also nice to know that most of them are better off at this stage of the game too. Seriously, no one's really screwed up their lives too much. Then again, we're only twenty-eight. We've got tons of time left for that.

To Babyproof or Not to Babyproof...

That is the question- or was the question. I thought I had it all worked out in my mind that I would not baby proof my house. Matt and I were very big on the baby will not change the way we go about our lives idea and we continue to stand by that. The way we live our lives is similar to how we did pre-Emma. If we were to put up gates and locks and plug up every electrical outlet around our house it would mean that a) we were anal parents, b)we had no parental ability to control our kid or c) our child would surely wreak havoc if ever in an unbabyproofed home. Um, and before you throw darts at me, no, we don’t put parents that do babyproof into any of these categories. I promise.

For the first fifteen and a half months of Emma’s life it worked really well. She didn’t throw our breakables on the floor, and she was great about staying away from the stairs (except when her friends are around- peer pressure already). We had it all figured out.

Except...

I didn't realize that maybe there would be a choice “D” to add to our list of reasons people babyproof. Simply put, our child is a Wild Thing. When we were thinking through babyproofing we did not factor a wiiiild chiiiiild into the equation. My sweet little girl already marches to the beat of her own drummer. I swear she has a future spot on the U.S. gymnastics team. She flips, (yes, she did her first somersault the other day) she twists, she tumbles, she climbs. I mean, with unnatural abilities. Last month she started climbing out of her crib. I found the crib tent or toddler bed options unsuitable for my spidermonkey, but thought I’d give her Pack ‘n Play a try. She couldn’t jump out of that could she? It almost lasted two weeks. On the third night of escaping she ended up with a big enough bruise on her face for me to cave in and just put her in a toddler bed. Except our toddler bed didn’t come with rails and finding bed rails for anything smaller than a twin bed was almost impossible. So, my dear is now sleeping on a mattress on her bedroom floor...in a babyproofed room.

Oh how I babyproofed.

So much so that her room is almost as empty as a Madoff investor's bank account.

My nursing chair and ottoman are gone, her rocking chair is gone, her shelf is out of there. Every outlet that could be plugged is plugged. There's drawer locks and door locks and safety galore.

The carefree image I tried so hard to project has been shattered. Blast.

Run-Walk-Crawl

These past couple months I feel like I’ve been doing nothing but run. Literally, no, actually I stopped that right around the same time I picked up the figurative running. Crap. This summer has been a series of sprints from one thing to the next, and while most of it has been great, it’s wearing me out. We started the summer on a cruise. Then we were off to Long Boat Key to spend a week with Matt’s family. The following week a good friend from OH came to visit. We dropped him off at the airport and two days later were in our car for the trek up to NY to see my family. (I know, you’re really feeling sorry for me, aren’t you?) We’ve had such a fantastic summer that returning to real life seemed especially difficult.

Real life can be hard.

Back when I was running, there were times when I would go over to the lake during one of those pesky little “charity” runs (kidding, I love running for a cause, however…) going on. The problem with these events is that if you are actually at the lake to run, you better leave right away because there will be no running for you that day. Nope. The run/walkers take up the whole path. They don’t move, even when you yell, “On your left…on your left…ON YOUR LEFT!!!” So you nick their foot with your stroller and they give you a dirty look. The nerve.

It’s kind of the way with life. You’re out there running your own course, but really, it was never just your course to run alone anyway. There’s all these other people around you running (jogging, sprinting, walking, lollygagging- you feel me?) too. On my little jog through life things aren't going to happen as I want them to. Events and people are going to complicate the course. You know, like the run-walkers who don’t allow for passing on the left. But, if I don’t see it as my course in the first place, then this won't bother me so much. It's not about me. If I can just realize that and give up my own need for things to go as I planned, then maybe I can set aside my own pride and just run alongside the others...even when it’s not comfortable. I’ll still reach the finish line, though that's not necessarily what it's about anyway. How I get there is important. I mean, in a comparison of bulldozing the other runners or coming alongside them at least.

It’s been a heavy summer.

Turns out life doesn’t go as planned. Spouses hurt each other. Things don’t make sense. People get sick. Young people die. You get stuck in the rat race when it was always your goal to live above it.

The funny part is, personally, it’s been a drama free summer. Matt and I have had little hardship to contend with. It doesn’t feel like that though. There’s this strange ripple effect that comes with having relationships. The laugh with those that laugh and mourn with those that mourn effect. I suppose you could call it authentic community (or how about a runner’s club??). What happens to each member of the community impacts the whole- as it should. We don’t run alone, which is great for support, but it’s just hard at times. I want to be the kind of person that is humble and gentle, and bears with others in love, but I’m not there yet. I guess that’s the beauty of community and sharing life with others. It would be a whole heck of a lot easier sometimes to say screw it and just run alone, but in those moments where I’m tempted to do just that, I know that there are others beside me, willing to pick up my slack and keep me going, even when it’s the last thing they want to do.

On a lighter note, keeping with the whole running theme, I put together this little slideshow highlighting a few of our summer rompings, accompanied by my favorite song of the summer. :)

Emma wanted to post today...

Dear Daddy,

There's a few things that I wanted to tell you this Father's Day, but since I can't write yet, I'm dictating to mom.  She understands everything I say.  Thank you for being such a great dad this year.  Really, I've seen much improvement since last year at this time.  You're not nearly as squirmy when mom asks you to change my poopy diaper.  You used to gag and yell about how awful it smelled, which was starting to give me a complex.  Thanks for chillin' out.  

I really love hanging out with you.  You're a lot of fun; I mean, for a twenty-six year old.  Some of my favorite things to do with you are taking hikes in the red backpack, being carted around the lake in my jogging stroller, and getting ice cream.  You're much better at sharing your ice cream with me than momma.  I also like how you've been taking me to the park lately.  I get kinda bored just going with ma; she never lets me ride the spinny basket that makes me walk funny when I get off of it.  Oh, and thanks for traveling with me so much this year.  Seeing the world through your eyes has meant a lot to me.  There's so much for you to teach me! Remember when we went out to California and mom was freaking out about having to drive through the desert with me?  What a nut.  Sorry I wasn't so lucky for you in Vegas.  Mom told me about the year before!  I loved watching you chase after crabs with my cousins in Maine.  I can't wait till I can do that with you!  I'm really glad you let me play with all the fishies you caught at the beach this summer.  They were so cute; I loved giving them kisses.  That frog you showed me the other day was kinda creepy though.  I'm not sure we're going to share the same love for all animals.  A girl has her limits you know.

Of all the awesome things we've done together, my favorite times are when we're just at home.  I love it when you come pick me up in the morning if you're awake, and I love when I surprise you in bed if mom's up first.  I love that you dance with me, and chase me, and carry me around on your back.  I love making you laugh with all my silly faces and tickling your toes.  Most of all, Daddy, I love how you love me and mom.  Thanks for always taking care of us and for showing us that you think we're really special.  I'm so glad God made me your little girl.  You're the best.  

Love you DaDa,

Emma  

Operation #55 Zebra

Everyone faces trials in life. Granted, not everyone is given an equal dose of hardship to deal with.  I wonder if I had the opportunity to see the full picture of what my life would look like, how would I respond? Would it freak me out and keep me from becoming all that God created me to be? Would I try to avoid difficulty at all costs in hopes of avoiding pain?

Would it make me live and love more richly, more passionately?

Would I trust God, or would I run from him?

One of my friends from college, David Wenzel, has an interesting view on the direction his life has taken him. It's worth checking out. Last week he was just living life. Then in a strange series of events he hit his head while goofing around with a friend, found himself in the hospital the following day after suffering a seizure, and was told that he had a brain tumor that would not have been discovered for several more years if not for the Kung Fu incident. It is his belief that none of these events were simply by accident. I concur.

Riding in Cars with Boys

ED!!

Hello Summer

Fact: Matt and I are obsessed with ice cream. On a six day vacation last summer we spent over $100 on ice cream. We may even subconsciously plan our vacations around it. I love California. One of the main reasons why? Pinkberry, of course. We love Italy; it's home to incredible art and history, but more importantly GELATO. We taper off on our frequent visits to the nearest creamery/gelateria/yogurt/ice cream shop when it's snowing, so moving to a state that's warm all year made me a little nervous. I mean, a girl can't eat ice cream all the time without paying for it (mostly in the booty). Our northern friends would be proud of our self control these past seven months.  However, Memorial Day marks the start of summer and (holla holla) ICE CREAM season! 

                                                             Yup, we certainly indulged.

We didn't eat ice cream the whole weekend though. We did plenty of other summery activities. On Friday Emma and I got season passes to Busch Gardens and spent the day with a couple friends hanging out at the park. There's so much to do, and it's pretty much our new favorite place. The only downside to the day was when Emma pooped her wet little pants playing in some fountains. It wasn't the first time in the last couple weeks that I've ended up with her poo smeared on me though. Hmmm, life is hard. I don't have any pictures from it, (Busch Gardens day- not the poopy incident) but I do have a super cute video of the car ride there. It's on the other computer though. I'll put it up later.

Emma had her first carousel ride this weekend. She sat at the top of the double-decker, which left her wussy parents feeling dizzy. She was so serious during the ride we weren't sure if she liked it but babbled all about it when it was over. She also had fun playing with all the other little mini mall rats. Excuse her dress/leggings combo btw. It was getting chilly and I just grabbed the first thing I saw. Good thing she's just so naturally cute.

Sunday evening we headed back to Busch Gardens with friends, and Matt was able to experience the magic. We're debating whether it's better than Disney. So far, I say yes. We'll see. It has some great rollercoasters. I'm pretty sure the last time I went on a rollercoaster was almost four years ago when we went to Cedar Point for our first anniversary. Anywho...we introduced the kids to some jungle animals, ate dinner, and then decided to have some adult fun (um, riding rollercoasters duh). Matt and Jarrod went on first while Hayley and I watched the kids (directly under the rollercoaster might I add) giving us plenty of time to get nervous. I was anticipating the huge drop and Hayley was anticipating throwing up her spaghetti dinner. It was so fun though, and there was no throwing up or passing out. I'd say a successful day.

Monday morning Matt took care of Emma for awhile, so I could sleep a little before he went golfing. Almost a fair trade. Then we hung out with Matt's parents and brother for the afternoon, and headed out to the scrub for an evening hike. FL needs to grow some mountains. That's one thing about this state that I really don't like. It was a beautiful night though. Perfect weather. The sandy path kept me hoping that we would reach the ocean, but alas there are still no oceans in central FL. Darn.

Happy Memorial Day, folks.

Grocery Store Celebrity

If I was a pop star, (which I am when running with an ipod) I would write a song called "Grocery Store Celebrity," about my little Emma. The girl is a classic diva who will do pretty much anything for attention while in a shopping cart. She throws her arms up in the air and shakes her head around (we call it Crazy Girl- she does it on command as well) until she catches someone's attention, and then she flashes them her brightest, crinkled nose smile. If they start talking to her, she either puts one arm up and says something that sounds like "What?" or suddenly plays the shy girl and turns away as if to say, "I'm not in the mood for fans right now." I, of course, as her publicist, always have to speak (or apologize) for her.

One of the main questions we're asked?

"What aisle can I find one of those?" Very witty, indeed. Seriously, at least once a shopping trip.

It can be embarrassing sometimes, (poor Matt hates going to the store with us!) but it doesn't bother me. I know it will only be cute for a time, and it's not like she's being naughty. I think she just really likes it when people smile at her, and that's really not such a bad thing, is it? I think she genuinely brightens people's days (spoken like a true mom). She'll have the rest of her life to be scowled at, why not let her enjoy it now? Plus, she's a girl and I've read Reviving Ophelia. I'm sure it won't be like this forever, so for now, look for us in the "Stars, They're Just Like Us!" section of Us Weekly. We'll be the ones caught buying bananas.

Edit: My husband read this and laughed at me, so I just need to point out the fact that I understand that posts like this are VERY dorky. I'm clarifying, for his sake, that I know that I am a nerd b/c there's nothing worse than someone that doesn't even realize their nerdiness. So thank you very much, my dear husband, for just stating the obvious. Boo-yaa.

The Difference a Year Makes

Last year at this time I was still very much in survival mode. I remember the one time I tried to blog, (shirtless, dripping, and crying might I add...not to gross you out) I wrote one sentence. Yup. As wise and articulate I'm sure that post was, I never published it (hmm). As much as everyone said that having a baby changes your life and as hard as I'd heard it was, nothing could prepare me for actually doing it. I've heard of experiments where people listen to a tape of a baby crying for one or two minutes and when it's over say that it was ten minutes long. Oh my, how true that is. Except in the beginning, Emma really cried ALL THE TIME (poor baby had acid reflux). And I didn't have a car. Or many friends around that didn't work. And Matt was working full-time, finishing his Master's, and studying for his CPA. Wow. What a difference a year makes. Then Emma was a demanding set of lungs that pooped (a LOT) and slept (here and there). Now she's a sweet, silly toddler (who still poops a LOT and sleeps a little more) who has her mom and dad wrapped around her fuzzy-finding fingers.

I love how she's changed our lives. People fear missing out on things by having children, but I really can't think of a single thing I've missed out on. We do all the things we did before, but now we also have her, which is faaarrr greater than I ever thought. I've also heard people say that it's hard to explain how much you'll love your child. A year ago I didn't understand that. Of course I loved her then, but man did she cry a lot.

Now I just love watching her learn new things. She loves birds; who notices every time a bird chirps but a one year old? She made progress today on using a spoon. It was so funny to watch her serious little face as she worked hard to get the oatmeal on the spoon and into her mouth. I mean, it was as if she was working through a Calculus problem (not that I would know what that's like). The world is just so new to her and she's finally getting to the point where she loves to explore it. And we're finally to the point where we seem to get this whole parenting thing (ha!). So, is it crazy to start talking about having another, or is that just how things work? Once you get into the swing of things, everything changes? That seems like one of those consistent inconsistencies of life. Ahhh, what to do, what to do...

Here We Go Again

Evidently blogging is like exercising, eating right, and all the other things that I have trouble staying disciplined with. I feel guilty when I don't do it, better when I do, and find it so hard to start it up again. But, Emma is suddenly one and I don't know where the time went.

Some of my one year favorites:

Emma has discovered an adequate form of communication for a one year old- pointing. Some may go so far as to say she's obsessed; the girl points at everything. She's very quick to let us know what she wants. I've noticed that often before we give her what she wants we ask her to give us a kiss. She's picked up on this too, so in between frantic pointing she lays courtesy kisses on our faces. It reminds me of holding out a treat for a dog that starts doing all the tricks before the command. I'm pretty sure Emma's brighter than a dog though. Sweeter too. After taking her nightly bottle she snuggles up to me and lays her head on my shoulder, and every few seconds looks up and plants more kisses on me. She's just too cute.

Oh, and she walks. But she doesn't wear shoes. She's that girl whose mother defies the shoes and shirts required sign in Target. Everyone knows too, because Emma is sure to wave and yell hi to each person that passes her. Not to excuse this poor behavior BUT, I really can't get shoes to stay on her skinny little feet. Oh well, she's more of the Huck Finn type anyway.